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9 rules of healthy relationships
By Thrive | ! Without a column
Even the happiest couples are not safe from conflicts, but despite quarrels, some people manage to not only create a strong relationship, but also maintain them for many years. What is their secret, explain family psychologists.
“Happy spouses do not get tired of praising each other to friends, children, relatives and even colleagues,” explains the psychologist and coach Samantha Rodman.
In unhealthy relations, partners often criticize each other in conversations with others. Simple phrases like “my husband can fix everything” or “my wife prepares the best dinners in the world” help to maintain close connection between partners ”.
“In strong relations, partners find time for joint leisure daily,” says psychotherapist Kurt Smith. – For example, they walk together with a dog, talk for a long time when children fall asleep or watch TV shows together “.
“My husband and I are laughing at something,” says psychologist Marie Land. -We cannot be in a depressed state for a long time, because one of us will definitely say something or do to raise us both of them. Of course, sometimes you can not do without serious conversations. But those couples who try not to treat life too seriously and more often laugh, easier to build a healthy relationship ”.
“I constantly meet spouses who endlessly complain of each other,” explains the family consultant and psychotherapist Aaron Anderson. – Most often we are talking about the most common problems that almost all pairs are faced with. In a healthy relationship, partners are not focused on problems and complaints, but pay attention primarily to each other’s positive aspects and are not shy about exchanging compliments ”.
of a partner
“This helps them to overcome the lack of understanding, which sometimes arises in any relationship,” says Kari Carroll psychotherapy, specialist in psychotherapy. – Empage is useful for resolving any conflicts, and those of my clients who possess them can say to their partner: “I can’t agree with you here, but I can understand why you felt like that (a)”. At the same time, the partner feels that he is carefully listened, understand and appreciated “.
“Often, problems in relationships arise due to the fact that one of the spouses does not understand what the second lives, or it seems to him that they begin to ignore him,” advises Samantha’s psychologist Rodman. “A simple call or SMS message to inform your partner when you return from work or from a meeting with friends/friends, will help him or stop worry about this and will strengthen your relationship even more”.
“Flirt is a great way to show your love to the partner and, in addition, have a little fun,” says Aaron Anderson. – Without it, relations become gray and boring. In a healthy relationship, partners continue to flirt with each other even after years “.
“Even during the conflict, the spouses do not scold each other with the last words and do not hang labels,” explains the psychotherapist Kurt Smith. – I often hear the partners are not shy about expressing caustic comments and offensive remarks, and then they dismiss that they “just joked”. In a healthy relationship, partners always treat each other with love and respect “.
“Partners are able to admit their mistakes, apologize and leave what happened in the past,” adds psychologist Marie Land. – Recent disagreements do not lead to emotional removal from each other and do not prevent them from spending time together together “.